Congratulations, you’ve gotten through midterms, but you’re not out of the woods yet. There are still research papers to write, and finals are still waiting for you at the end of the tunnel. Hope is fading fast, and you are starting to consider careers that do not require a college degree. Don’t worry, this is just a phase. Then again, you might actually drop out and become a stripper.
These might be some thoughts that crawl through your head as you crawl through the rest of this semester:
1. Can I just not take the final and still pass?
If you’ve gotten a 95 percent on all of your other exams in your class, can you skip the final and still cash in for a C? I don’t know. I’m not a math major. This isn’t an advice column, but I guess you can give it a shot. What’s the worst that could happen, other than you failing and not being able to graduate?
2. Should I change my major?
This seems like a lot of work for a bachelor’s degree. Maybe I should just go to medical school. Why should I get $25,000 in student debt for a job that pays peanuts? I guess I’ll just have to live with the satisfaction that I’m defending democracy or something, but that won’t help me pay off my student loans.
3. Should I drop out of school and become a stripper?
Maybe? Have you actually looked up what the average income of a stripper is? It’s a lot. Well, a lot more than your average college graduate. You’ll be rolling in dough, and probably shame. But, mostly dough. Your parents will most likely be disappointed, but they will probably forgive you when you buy them a car for Christmas. Make it rain.
4. Maybe I should just go to Lanier Tech.
Why? No. Move on. Just drop out.
5. How much longer?
You keep checking the calendar and counting to see how many more weeks of torture you have left. Spoiler: It’s like a month and a half. Sorry. College isn’t for the weak. But, just think about how great you will feel when it’s all over! If you make it that long.
6. Should I go to grad school?
That depends? How much do you hate yourself? Are you going to go right after you graduate with your undergrad? Are you ready to do this all over again? You miserable soul.